The First Step

       Lately, I have been clouded with numerous thoughts on situations I found myself in. Every other day brings a new challenge or a reality that I may not be ready to face, and then there are days when the smile on my face doesn't fade.

       Can you answer me something? Have you felt like giving up on something that has become mundane or doesn't interest you anymore, but you hold back and stay put? So did I, until one day, I decided not anymore.

       Today, I came across a few coding videos when revisiting my archives from four years ago. I went through all of them and relived the moments I had before, which filled me with joy. In one of the videos, I saw one question in the background that read, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" which led me to write this blog. My immediate reaction after reading the question was to skydive to lose my fear of heights. I gave it a thought and realized six months before that I had given up on the job that I was incredible at. Let that sink in.

       Several reasons led me to make that decision, but primarily to leave a toxic culture behind, getting away from the people who didn't honor their commitment. Was that the correct decision to make? Absolutely. Did it affect me for the following months? Yes, it did in unimaginable ways, where I found myself in debt. Did the corporate world think I was an irrational decision-maker employee? Maybe they did, but it doesn't matter. Working overtime without compensation while being entirely committed to the work, carrying out training sessions, and leading a team that was ironically borrowed from me for another project without reciprocation were the reasons that started to pile up. The final nail in the coffin arrived when I was denied a raise that the management had committed earlier, and I decided to quit for good.

       I didn't think about the consequences; all I could focus on was how burdenless I felt after months. I spent the next few months searching for a new job, where the recruiters asked me a series of dumb questions, and the one that topped was why were you paid so high on your last job? I laughed hysterically at the recruiter asking him what, according to him, a Managing Editor has to get paid? Was it the heights of stupidity that I was facing at the time? You know the answer to that by now.

       Am I arrogant? To some people, yes, and the opposite for some. Were the whole shenanigans bad? No, I learned most of the things from my peers, who helped me excel at writing and producing multiple pieces of content. I learned how to handle a team of talented individuals and help them improve their strengths while working on their weaknesses. Did I understand office politics to an extent? Sadly yes, but it was essential.

WHAT A RANT! SIGH! (Humming "Let it go" in the thought train.)

       After months of job search and the struggle it came with, I was at a cafe to have an expresso and a few sandwiches with a friend. That's when it struck me that everything I have worked towards only brought me to the center point of my ripple effect, writing. I finally decided to give my heart and soul to my passion project, Unbridled. It has been three months that I have been working on it, coming across amazing people, cultures, and communities. I can assure you that I have never felt much alive; writing brings out my emotion in unimaginable ways. The caged thought that occurred on office desks is finding its door to fly.

"Chhote chhote kadam badhata hoon,

Ladkhadate hue khud ko sambhal leta hoon,

Udne ki khwaish liye inn sapno se bhari aankhon mein,

Hausle kar liye buland itne ki sooraj se hi aankhein milata hoon."

       I have been working with multiple companies as a freelancer, finally being exposed to the world of content on an expanded scale. The debts are cleared, and I am making much more than I did before, though it wasn't easy. I have a few fantastic writers with whom I can share all the ups and downs and discuss the thoughts on the brim. Life has taken a turn for the good.

       So, I'll ask you again, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

       It doesn't have to be something extraordinary; it only should mean everything to you.

       It could be straightforward, like asking the girl/boy out for whom you have been waiting for a while. It could be expressing your feelings to your parents about your life or coming out to the world with your sexuality. It could be starting out your venture or going out in the wild on a solo trip. A thousand things are waiting for you to make that decision if only you weren't afraid.

       Overcoming fear takes courage, and you are filled with it, waiting for the push to come in. Trust me, when the time comes, you'll take that step, making the best of every moment. Until then, Sayonara.